Oh no, all the good teams won! :(

Four reasons there won’t be a recap of the weekend’s basketball action here:

1. My two 10-year-old cousins are absolutely kicking my ass at picking games, so who cares what I think? I’ll have them post some of their thoughts in between picking their nose and whatever the hell else fourth-graders do.

2. It’s finals week.

3. One of my roommates has been using the Internet all night. (Note: Yes, we only have one place to connect to the Internet in our house, but at least it isn’t dial-up. Note #2: I’m trying not to make fun of my roommates here in the off chance that one of them somehow finds it and knows who I am. I suppose I could use that to my benefit, though. WOULD ONE OF YOU DO YOUR FUCKING DISHES?)

4. Every web site has already told you that this weekend was a colossal disappointment and that since there are no George Masons left, the Sweet 16 will be boring. A couple responses: The only reason the George Mason Final Four run last year was awesome and gripping is because it DOESN’T happen every year. Even the excitement over Winthrop (from the Big South) beating Notre Dame (from the Big East) was muted this year because Winthrop was expected to be this year’s George Mason. But here’s why expecting an upstart to win a bunch of games (and then acting disappointed when they don’t) is douchebaggery of the highest degree.

In basketball, the better team wins the vast majority of the time.

So when a George Mason wins four straight games against better teams by executing at a higher level and playing with more intensity, it’s special.

If it happened all the time, Cinderella would no longer be Cinderella. Cinderella would just be another fat, snaggle-toothed, uppity stepsister. Now everyone shut up and watch the 16 best college basketball teams play each other without complaining.

Thanks.

Now, here’s a sweet music video.