Final Four and Whatnot

I give these to you as quadruple sailors-knot locks of a lifetime. ...

National Semifinal 1: (1) Florida over (1) Kansas.

There are numerous unfounded rumors circling that Kansas head coach Bill Self wears a toupee. With toupee rumors, the burden of proof falls on the accused. To quote Larry David, "Hitler should have gassed them."
Kansas loses and their coach goes on living a fraudulent lifestyle.

National Semifinal 2: (1) North Carolina over (3) Texas A&M.



That's interesting. I keep a lot of Coke around because it mixes well with whiskey. Tar Heels advance.

National Championship: Florida over North Carolina.

This is difficult for me to do. I'm a hater. I hate the player as well as his/her game. I hated the Yankees, Cowboys and Bulls. I'm anti-dynasty, largely because of my upbringing as a Brewers fan. When you're the nail, you learn to despise the hammer.

But Florida's just too good. They win, 80-74, and Joakim Noah haunts your nightmares until mid-May.